wanted: braindead or alive!
Add comment July 6th, 2008
Archive for July, 2008
wild child loose again!!
Add comment July 6th, 2008
You all probably heard about the Wild Child we had on the South End, some 15 year old kid who broke into our houses, stole our laptops and credit cards and sense of security, who made himself right to home. For about half a year he evaded SWAT teams and sheriff’s posses and vigilante watchdogs, sort of a Jesse James of the nettle forests.
For awhile it got to be Big News. TV crews rolled in, mobile units broadcast from the South Grange and the Visitor Center. You’d’ve thought Bonnie and Clyde had drove in from the 30’s, holed up at the Tyee Alamo and were holdin off Eliot Ness and 100 G-men. The South End was suddenly famous.
The Band was gonna write the Ballad of Coltin Moore, teenage desperado, outfoxin the sheriff’s department and terrorizing the citizens of O-Zi-Ya and Mabana. Al Capone with zits, Pretty Boy Floyd barefootin in the ravines, Machine Gun Kelly with bear strength pepper spray.
Like I say, we thought about helping make this kid a Legend. Probably end up with a hit single, sell a million copies, create a role model for the entire Stanwood High School, you know, supplant rock and roll stars and basketball millionaires with fellow adolescent malcontents.
We’d have a woods full of angst ridden wannabees, breedin like rabbits back up the hollers, helping themselves to vacant homes and wine cellars, orderin upscale supplies off the internet with stolen identities, barkin at the moon at night in wild Baccahanlias, refusing to surrender, refusing to go back to Normal existence, refusing the American Dream reality….. And that’s when the Band realized, we got too many artists and musicians ALREADY livin like that down here, we don’t need an overpopulation competin with us. So instead, we wrote this next song: The Ballad of Coltin Moore, Attorney at Law, rehabbed and ready to make an honest livin. Goes like this rightchere.
