Archive for June, 2008
June 22nd, 2008
I’ve never been to the opening of a new state park. I bet nobody else has either. And I suspect this will be the ONLY one most of us ever get to attend. Oh, we opened up that little jewel South End Park a year or so ago, but 3 picnic tables and the only grill that wasn’t stolen really don’t count much as a park, I guess. We put some sculpture in, but it was stolen and the rest got mistake for junk and hauled to the transfer station. Maybe that’s why Cama won’t let cars come down —- just an easy access for park thieves.
Cama Beach has a few advantages over OUR park. Got tribal history, got the old resort, got the boathouse and Wooden Boats, got a fair to middlin view and a few more acres than we do. Got bathrooms, I notice. We still have to use the woods. We got two garbage cans. But people prefer the woods, judging by my litter patrols.
It’s a pretty special day for all of us here on Camano. Even more special for us South Enders. This should take some of the pressure off OUR park. Thin out the weekend mobs. And provide more dumpsters for South End trash…
June 1st, 2008
Now I got buddies who read in the paper how a glass or two of red wine a day is good for the heart. They figure they want to live forever like most of us Americans — I guess hoping plastic surgery or cryogenic restoration will make some huge advances before terminal ugliness sets in at 150 and they look like those Halloween pumpkins left out til Thanksgiving.
Course, MY buddies aren’t sophisticated connosieurs like you all. They figure, I think, they can build strong hearts on a single Saturday night. I tell em, boys, you got to moderate that geriatric strategy. The way I do. Take a total volume and divide by 7 and you got an FDA recommended daily intake. And that’s something Geno and Tom could add to the labellin. Right below the warning about getting pregnant while operating heavy equipment. Just a thought. For the Heart Wise.
June 1st, 2008
The Band’s been thinking of bringing out our own label for the upscale South End market. South End String Blanc maybe or South End Sauvignon. A great complement to BBQ’s Roadkill or just a perfect moodsetter for drinking alone watching Seinfeld reruns late at night.
Wine is really about image, you ask me. And when it comes to IMAGE, the South End is all over it. We’ve offered our considerable expertise to Geno and Tom here at Camano Cellars. I tell em, Cellars? Sounds like a basement, smells like Bottom. You need our marketing guru, Skeeter Daddle, show you how to move grape Big Time. New name, right off, Camano Casks. Got the subliminal message Casket. Target the NASCAR Bud Light death wish crowd.
The wind that comes in a 12 oz bottle, drink em on the way home and pitch the empty in the ditch. Put a racecar on the label. Something with speed. Skull and crossbones by the Surgeon General Warning. This ain’t for snivelers, bucko!
Oh, I know, they’ll muddle along without us. But we’re here for them when they’re ready for the fast lane, the bright lights and the Big Time. Just don’t wait TOO long, is all I’m gonna say. South End Sauvignon is comin up fast in the rearview…..
June 1st, 2008
I got to tell you folks some of us here in the Band came up north here to Camano Cellars to see if we could glean or steal some vintnering secrets to help us with our own winery: South End Forifieds. We’re pretty much a boutique industry. Catering to a niche market. What we lack in quantity, we make up in gravity, real high gravity. About 20% by volume.
And what we lack in quality, we make up for in chemistry. Nothing but the finest additives Monsanto and Dow make. Better Living thru Chemistry, sure. Better Drinking thru Chemistry, even better.
Any damn fool can make a good wine if you got good grapes and good yeasts and expensive barrels of burnt oak. Don’t need a fancy PhD in wino-ology from UC-Davis, you got all that. But try making a fine Zin from road spray blackberries aged in old blue poly drums washed in on the beach after a storm. There’s an artform! There’s a challenge! There’s the South End Fortifieds meeting Camano’s epicurean needs.
So go ahead. Sniff and gargle a bit. The Cellar’s got plenty of merlots today. But when times get tough and the economy goes to Hades in a handtruck, when gas costs more per gallon than Sauvignon One and the government starts mixing it into their ethanol blends, remember: We’ll be there for you. South End Fortifieds. Wine for the Tough Times. Engineered with your pocketbook in mind…..
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