BOTTLED AIR

July 22nd, 2006

Used to be we got our water out of a faucet. Turn a tap, stick a glass under it, fill her right up. You ever lived in the Good Old Days, you might remember pumpin your water. A little elbow grease, up she came out of the well, cold as glacier water. They make a special line in the refrigerator these days to chill it.

Course ALL of this is obsolete now. We like our H20 in polyvinyl containers in today’s future. Costs more’n gasoline even after the price hikes. Not that we’re recommendin drinking gasoline – we need that to make the plastic jugs for the water.

We’re definitely a consumer culture when boutique water can be marketed to the well scrubbed masses. Remember Perrier? I bet most of us chuckled back then if not laughed out loud. Who’s laughin now??? They’ll be bottlin air next. Go ahead and laugh. They’ll be marketing expensive boutique atmospheres. You entrepreneurs, get a jump on this. Alpine Air. Oxygen du Jour.
Salty Breeze. Trade Winds. Fragrance de Flatulence.

The Band’s already got their formula for maximum profits. South End Enviro Elixir. Two parts oxygen, a piquant hint of chimney smoke, and a big dose of laughing gas. I know we’re gonna be chuckling all the way to the bank.

Entry Filed under: deer in the headlights (concert commentary)